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Monday, March 07, 2005 ( l0t's 0f rem|nisceNce... @ 11:09 AM ) 2nd mar out of the office & went ard the whole campus, following the filiming crew..exhausted..shag... also the launch of the COTF..1st major happenin since my attachment in NIE...amazing technolgy..awed wif the designs... completely drained out...can't believe it's only wed.... sIgh.. 4th mar finally it's fri..thot i could meet pighead but he was too tire out from his 370 pumpings..he 'moved' to a new camp at boon lay..hehee..tt's near mi now..poor boy...he's sufferin alot in there... went back SP to prac wif sen & fang..both are sick and their voice were badly affected by flu..can't achieve more results..decided to end prac early & go home rest.. 5th mar wel..some communication broke down...thot rehersal was at auditorium..turns out to be at T1111..bad day.. played horribly..i'm so gg to faint on performance day...she came..but i din talk to her at all...guess we r back to square one...sIgh.. somehow i think tis rehersal is a fruitless thingy...wat we need is the real system...too bad..luck isn't wif us..i guess gg to the temple and pray might be better...... 6th mar oh boy.. i nearly cried today....felt such a strong sense of loneliness and emptiness... i sat there alone..everyone was busy wif sth..if not either one would haf their own acompany..asked pighead to come early cus i was on the verge of breaking down...wat a nice guy...he treat me real good...thanx dear.. rehersal was bad...everything was overrun..i had so much to comment yet i decide to remain silent..it was a struggle to try to give up..i'm glad dear was wif mi..nevertheless..i doubt i really did gave up..... dare nt step into the control room lest i will be reminded of the past...the happy yet gone happy days...wat can i do.. i haf no idea..perhaps fate haf it tt things should end tis way... sIgh.. beginning to regret my rash decision in askin sutee they all to come for the performance...wat haf i done...guess i better pray real hard for a better performance as compared to last year... i am so scarred by their comments i guess.... slipped my foto into dear's bag..promised to gif him one..a pleasant surprise for him... the whole day she was wif X..i think i lost her..felt a tinge of jealousy..i thot we were best friends...and now...i don like X...is she now a replacement of me...of all ppl....she...? can someone pls save me......... i'm so tired..so worn out.....6 more weeks to end of ITP...pls end fast... my body...my mind...i can't hold on much longer... 0 comments |
