it has been 4 days since you left us but i still feel like yday... still thinking that maybe i will see you in studio later...

i went to see you just now. to my amaze, i didn't cry terribly or break down when i saw you. i was calm and i felt like i could finally accept everything. but when i left and i saw the bubble tea by your tablet, i teared. I guess it reminded me of how you always appeared at the studio with one hand holding onto a bubble tea. And yes, you prefered bubble tea from 'Quickly' instead of 'Sweet talk'.

I have been talking to friends about you and i'm seriously think the media sux.. they are just exaggerating and trying to sensation the news... wth.. things are over so stop trying to create any stories out of it... his family members are in grief and so are all his friends... all these tell tales are just going to aggrevate matters...

i'm afraid to going to lesson later. I should be looking forward to your lesson today but you would be here anymore. Will i b able to feel your presence later? Will I break down later? Will I just stone away while standing at the position where i always stand and looking at the position where you always stood beside me?

Nowadays, I hate to be alone. When i close my eyes, I see the scene where you laid in the car. It's a horrible feeling... I'm sad and yet scared at the same time. I've been listening to all the sad songs not because I want to make myself even more depress but I think listening to these songs make me feel that someone is sharing my sorrows. I'm not sad sad but it just feels so weird and bad that someone is suddenly missing from your life..

i need lots of comfort....

~sudden urge to see my dear....~